this IS 50

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I turned 50 a few weeks ago. And boy, do I feel better!

Seriously, I do. I have always love love loved my birthdays. I prefer for them to last somewhere between a week and a month. I am not normally high maintenance, but I expect the entire world to notice when it is my birthday. 

I couldn't wait to turn 30. I relished turning 40. But this year was different. There was something about 50 that scared me. 

Perhaps it was this new sense of mortality. My paternal grandmother was dead at 48 of an aneurysm. My maternal grandfather dropped dead of a heart attack at 54. While visiting a relative in a hospital. My father had strokes and was dead at 57. 

Having to click the bubble for a new demographic made me feel closer to death. 

And everyone was pestering me about what I wanted for my birthday. After all, 50 is a "big" one. But there was nothing i needed, nothing I wanted. And please, no surprise parties. Just what I needed was to drop dead when people jumped out of the dark and yelled "Surprise!"

I decided what I wanted was to spend time with my family - siblings, cousins, children, anyone who could come. They all thought that was great. 

My brother procured a lake house and we all gathered. It was bitterly cold - so cold that the pipes were frozen when we arrived - but there was power and a working fireplace, so we were fine. We had tons of food and treats. We were by a beautiful lake. We were together.

And on January 25th, I woke up alive, just like every other day before that. Awesome! 

The day before we left home, the first proof of my book arrived. I had ordered enough copies to share with my family. It's a small book, a collection of stories really. It was imperfect, and has gone through a complete edit and total reorganization since then. But I had preliminary hard copies in my hand before I turned 50. I even have an Authors Page and a Kindle version on Amazon. 

One goal down. And now that I'm past 50 and still kicking, many more goals to go!

I wish I wasn't such a birthday diva. But I freely admit I get down when people I am close to do don't wish me Happy Birthday, even on Facebook. So if you didn't, it's still not too late. You have until February 25th. 

And hopefully many, many more years.